As a programmer, the title only seemed apt. Although this post is mainly for testing purposes, in the interest of robust aesthetics, I’ll add some of my passing thoughts as my summer vacation passes me idly by.
I’m at the very start of my two week stint back in Harford County, MD, my hometown. In two weeks I’ll be embarking on a cross-country road trip back to UCLA, which I’m currently planning. Starting from Baltimore, we’ll cross 15 states hitting 11 cities. We’ll begin by venturing down south toward Nashville, Tennessee, and then shift to a northwestern route toward Seattle. After that we’re set to head south along Route 1, taking in anything and everything the west coast has to offer. Needless to say, I’m excited.
However, my feelings are not all of excitement. After my two years in Westwood, Harford County feels like a ghost town. For my two weeks here, my schedule includes planning my road trip, seeing my grandparents, and meeting up with exactly one childhood friend. How is it that in a place where I lived 18 long years, a place where the concept of Eli Jaffe was shaped and molded, how can I have so little to return to? I don’t mean this in a pitiful way, I seek no pity. In fact, my loose connections have made much easier my transition to life at UCLA, and I am truly grateful, as this stage of my life is one I cherish every day. I only mean that this place has been a constant throughout my entire upbringing. What does it mean then, that I feel so little nostalgia? Either my childhood relationships and experiences must be lacking in some element, or I have somehow forgotten the joys of my youth. Why is it that so many others feel the comfort of their hometown so strongly, yet I feel nothing? Furthermore, is this phenomenon isolated, or will it continue? I love UCLA. The idea of my cherished memories fading away seems preposterous in the here and now. But would I not have felt the same 10 years ago? At the time, I was living the best days of my life. If I move on to bigger and better things, will these moments slip away like those of the past?
I suppose it’s a paradoxical question. If the aim of life is to generate happiness, I should be glad that my present life dwarfs my past, for that naturally implies I’m on an upward trajectory. But what a sad world to live in, where improving the quality of your life denigrates the quality of your memories.
This post got a little more involved than it was meant to, but I guess that’s what writing does. Hello world, and welcome to my mind. I hope you enjoy yourself.
